life of an insomniac

creation>

fall>

promise>

Redemption>

Restoration>

New creation>

<3

driving myself crazy.

Stress, it doesn’t even begin to cover it. I let these things bank across my thoughts and only listen to the inner monologue that continues to play over and over. Why do i feel so weak in this place, all that i know is behind and it seems i can’t turn around. Its impossible. I know i am mean’t to do more yet i struggle to find the time. I recently read a book that stated time is cruel, time is Cruel. I am sick of this consuming my life, if only i had more time….

hate doing this on social networking..

i would be lost without music.

Don’t trust anyone.

Learn more.

Jay Brennan.

God.

Personal Happiness.

Denver, Colorado.

Solitude.

Prayer.

Losing myself.

its all in your head, all your worries.

Stop..

do we look for the solution, There is none. 

I look for the answer and everytime i get nothing, worth my time?

No way we will ever know.

Time, its the seconds the minutes that grow on  of an inner timer running on nothing but curious creeping motions.

No reason to look for the scars the open wounds crawling with the lies, the tragic memories, my hope.

Gone. 

Second chances are always granted yet the answer will never be any different .

Throw it all out, you dont understand the insecurities that i feel hiding.

Feel- can i even begin to put a description on it, never, we will never grow under this spotlight, we are the insects in the ground. Looking into the great beyond, again Hopeless.

I feel like ive been breathing out of an exhaust pipe, gasping under your weight, looking into  what you have done, who they have become.

The dawn will fall every night, gone or here, but the end of  the relationship will always be influenced by the message you know.

You will never hear what i am going to say all that will be here is the characteristics i face looking into your pure destruction.

Helping, that is all you say, but it is your carelessness your despair that is killing your mother. I’m a part of this you are running the circus this time but when you fall.

And you will, be prepared.

you haven’t seen war yet.

one day ill stop searching.

do you find your self worth??

Looking into what you worship who you idol, if the answer isn’t christ.

Look again.

eat our weight in food!! yeeuuhh!

should I, would I, how can I…?

December come faster

I lay awake, mind far from blissful state, of sleep. The tumbling feet cross the horizon gracefully posted ahead of me. I say the words yet comfort has no part for the near future. Every corner, every step, im lost. Waiting but fearing the irrelevant outcome within an outreach amoung few. They will never understand, skin, character, heart. Under estimated, my cover may be blank but my words mean the deep meaning belonging to whom they may know.

Friend nick g posts too many pictures, write kid!:)

I wasn’t your first choice and I know why you chose her, I see my flaws not only reflected by the scars of my past mistakes but in the despair hidden in the depths of my eyes. I think about the future, my future.if I’ll ever find what I so desperately seek, or if this is really it. I can’t wait forever and all though you say your always their waiting with open arms I can’t say I can release my last hopes in the chances of inner battle of wrong and right in your eyes. I wish I could be that,i only hoped that bitterness wouldn’t eat away at my restless mind but it was all just a matter of time.I’m opening my eyes for the first time in a long time and showing the people of this audience that I will stand amoungst the brave the heavy hearted and the lost loved on the epic finale to the souls open call. Be brave is what they say Trust.

my god is an eternal god who loves me not for what ive done but for being the daughter who puts her trust in his hands now and forever

Anonymous asked: Im just kidding you blog is great but you should update more often. just saying

damn u text me!